i haven’t seen or spoke to my dad for about a month and a half now the last time I saw him his words where ‘you go your way and I’ll go mine’ i felt very hurt and Angry wondering how could he treat me like this after everything iv done for him, looking after him drunk,drunken phone calls being there when he needed me there has been many times iv needed him but he’s been too drunk to even know or be there,alcohol has taken my loving caring dad away from me,he once said to me ‘ you aren’t enough to stop me from drinking’ those words have stuck in my mibad ever since if his own daughter isn’t enough then what is? Iv finally accepted I can’t help him he has to help him self I love him to bits but there isn’t anything I can do and people don’t understand how hard that is.lately I haven’t been sleeping well because iv been worried, worried about him and if I should text him too see if he’s ok but scared incase it turns into an argument,worried about the future,upset as my family don’t support me they just think I’ll end up like my dad the amount of times iv cried because of them saying that it’s like they like too keep pushing me low and lower and enjoy it, I feel like I need an as cape from it all from all these feelings but don’t know where to turn.all my friends are getting cars,driving lessons brought for them by there parents why can’t I have that ? Instead I have to do it alone,it’s just not far. Iv been so tired with all the worrying when people ask me if I’m ok I just say yes because they just don’t understand what I’m going though or feeling and I can’t help feel lf you tell then they will use it against you.
Im so drained lately but somehow mangling to keep it together and keep smiling
iv got to keep fighting I can’t afford to fail