Hi everyone I'm 19 and my mother is an alcoholicI'm not really sure how to explain this but please let me know if any of you feel or have ever felt the same way.I have this feeling kind of like an empty feeling like I feel really empty inside like theres something missing inside. As some of you may know my mom is an alcoholic and has been for as long as I can remember getting drunk all the time, getting sick, passing out, getting verbally abusive and aggressive etc...when we were younger my dad used to make sure me and my brother are safe and protect us from her and he would deal with her and do everything that needs to be done. about 11 years ago they got divorced he couldnt handle it anymore and she went to rehab and was allowed shared custody with my dad. Not long after she started drinking again and eventually we went to live with my dad full time and only stayed my mom once a week.my mom got herself sorted again started dating met a really nice man with kids and eventually got married again and I was in a family again which was lovely for a few years it was really good until they eventually got divorced to make the story short she was met another guy after that amazing man! my mom started drinking again he paid to send her to rehab supported her all the way and she was sober about 3 years she then started drinking again he took her back to rehab eventually they broke up and she started drinking again and still is now on and off which is really hard living with!my dad got married again also after my mom was married for a few year and then single then married again and he is still with her today.eventually we went back to living with my dad almost full time cause of my moms drinking but about a year ago he got really sick and is in and out of hospital all the time so we are forced to live with my single alcoholic mother because we have no other family here and no where else to stay and it is so hard living with her drinking every single night and i try to stay over at friends houses whenever possible but its quite hard during the week :/ I have never had a mother/daughter relationship with my mom because of her drinking and lieing all the time she is just like some woman that I live with and at nights I'm the mother! I've never had a proper stable loving family and its something i've always longed for and wanted and I see all my friends with their familys that are totally different to mine and the relationships they have with their parents and how different their parents are and I wish that I could have that its the one thing that I want more than anything its to be in a normal loving supportive family. I have a great relationship with my friends parents and a few of their mothers are more of a mom to me than mine has ever been and I am closer to them than I have ever been to my mother and I am apart of their family!! I love staying at my friends houses cause for that moment that emptyness inside of me is gone it is filled because I am in a normal, safe and stable family, a family where the parents are actually parents a family where the parents cook the meals, feed their family, give their children support and unconditional love, lead their children in the right direction, give them advice about life and are always there if they need to talk and for that time I am in a place that has structure, has routine and I feel complete until I go back home that feeling of emptiness hits me again and I hate it and don't know what to do about it!!! Has anyone else every felt this way before or still feels this way and what is there to do about it?
